


Butter Fingers

by Spike_1790



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-31
Updated: 2012-03-31
Packaged: 2017-11-02 19:42:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spike_1790/pseuds/Spike_1790
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crack!Fic. Buffy plays a practical joke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Butter Fingers

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, god, I'm so sorry I unleashed this on the world.

“Oh, no!” Willow cried. “Xander, come over here. There’s a human finger in this pack of butter!”

“Gosh! We should definitely investigate this. Someone could be hurt!”

“Or a demon could be removing people’s fingers and putting them in food.” Spike suggested.

“Oh, dear! You should investigate. I’ll buy more butter at the shops.” Willow told them both.

***

Spike and Xander held hands, afraid to be apart from each other while there was a Finger-Chopping-Off Demon on the loose. A movement in the shadows made them jump.

“Is it the demon?” Xander asked, his knees knocking together with fright.

“No,” said the person in the shadows. “It’s just me.” It was Giles. Xander sighed with relief. Spike pretended he hadn’t been scared.  “Where are you going?”

“We’re going to find a demon!” Xander informed him.

“Oh, be careful, then!” Giles told them, wandering off to Buffy’s house.

***

Spike and Xander crept forwards. A rustling in the trees made them quake with fear.

“Is it the demon?” Spike asked.

“No, it’s just me,” Riley said. “I am chopping firewood.”

Spike and Xander looked at each other. “Okay then,” they said.

“Have you seen a demon that likes to chop off fingers? We’re looking for one,” Xander inquired.

“No. But if I do, I will scream like a girl and you can rescue me!” Riley exclaimed.

***

“There is my crypt!” Spike said after they had walked some more. “Let’s go inside and have a quick snog. If the demon finds us, we may never get another chance!”

“Oh, Spike, please kiss me. I have waited such a very long time for your lips to be pressed against mine.”

Spike and Xander stood in the crypt, kissing. When they broke the kiss so that Xander could breathe, he said “I hope the demon doesn’t attack us now. That would be awfully bad timing!”

“Yes it would,” Spike said. Then he kissed Xander again.

Buffy burst into Spike’s crypt. “Why are you two kissing?”

“Because there is a nasty demon that likes to chop off fingers on the loose and we must fight it. If we died, we would never have had the chance to kiss each other,” Xander explained.

“There isn’t a demon!” Buffy told them. “It was a plastic finger I put in there for a joke. April Fools!”

“How was it a joke?” Xander asked. “Jokes normally start with ‘knock knock’ or chickens crossing roads.”

“You don’t get it?” she asked. “It was butter fingers! Hahahahaha!”

“So it all worked out in the end. There isn’t a demon and Buffy hasn’t developed a sense of humour.” Xander smiled happily.

“And I got to kiss Xander, and that was a very good thing indeed!” Spike added.

The End.


End file.
